Bon Giorno!

I will be honest with you. It is a desire for me to have my own domain since I was still in elementary school. My dad introduced me to the internet that time, and my life was suddenly changed. I’m sure remembered that my first choice on my college entrance exam was School of Electrical and Informatics (which then I failed to enter). Being the IT guy is still kind of cool, because you can really do almost anything to amuse people. Like this guy for example.

It had always been on my wish list since 2011: having a personal domain + hosting. Then, there you go, 2 years later I checked my first, oh wait second—the first one was subscribing to National Geographic and NG Traveler—things to do in 2013 list.

I am permanently moving out to:

http://blog.uncletivo.com

Why not using my own name? Haha. Let’s keep it simple, I think my name is too long and I hardly state a specific nickname because people called me different names to this day :)) Besides, I’m in love with the family of TIVO. I’m assured that you will be seeing them more often. For friends who already made links to this blog, please kindly change the address to: http://blog.uncletivo.com.

Thank you for landing here, it was a great flight :)

2012 ke 2013

Di tengah bulan Januari memulai review tahun kemarin? Hmm, ya, ya, bisa dicoba.

Being 25 :)

There are so many myths about being 25. Hope shatters, dreams faded, feelings forgotten. All those miserable things that could happen to a man. Last October, I celebrate my birthday alone, in the land of strangers. This is a birthday present I bought for myself after a quarter of decade standing on earth. I went to Hokane that day, exploring the city alone.

Hakone is a small city in south of Tokyo, not too far from Mt. Fuji. The city is quiet and peaceful, a perfect place to enjoy the fresh air or relaxing in the hot springs. I haven’t quite experienced it myself but some other times maybe.

It is quite windy that day, and I intentionally left my sweater back at the hostel for reason I don’t understand it either. As the chill air greeted me, I went straight to ride the bus. The destination was Lake Ashi, a pirate ship, astonishing lake, and its surrounding views. I chose the Hakone-machi pier as my departure point because it is the farthest pier, allowed me to enjoy the cruise much longer.

The other pier—Moto-Hakone pier offers another interesting view, there is tori (a red gate) that build below water.

Along the ride, there was a guide that point what mountain or building we’re going to pass, complete with its historical background and purposes.

The next station took me to a ropeway, my first experience floating through a looking glass in midair. I shared the cable car with some Japanese family, all were in their late of age. I guess Japan senior citizen like to travel, since it is finally their free time after working so hard on their productive age. Things that I haven’t quite sure for myself, what would I do when I hit their age? Having a small theater and a library? Produce a dream machine?

There is a pit stop for the ropeway ride in Owakudani, the valley of hell. There is a famous food served here, a black boiled egg that said can prolong your life for 7 years. The black rock valley breathes smoke from its pores.

It became more breathtaking when the ride continued, the mountain and its beautiful forest blinded me from the rest of the world. Autumn came late that time, though it was already mid-October, the tree hadn’t changed its color to a perfect orange and gold. Though some part had become yellowish, the color that still silenced me for minutes.

As I look my feet and seeing how high I float that day. I know I might be hitting a bottom someday, or I might be floating higher at some place. I know there is so little that I already accomplish and seeing other’s achievement make me kind of small. I don’t deny that sometimes, I threw chances and didn’t do anything about it. I know that this year got me so far away from what I wanted to accomplish. There are too many moments that I kept between myself and the wall in my room. The one that ended up in midnight silence, between the sound of the ticking clock and Chris Martin’s voice. I really wanted to stop the feeling of being left behind, I want to start doing what I can do along with what I have to do, to catch up with the rest of the world. I want to write stories. I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love. With the earth, the sky, the ocean, the stars in the constellation, You, also you, all things that dance like fire, and the rest of the world. I wanted to float longer, but the ride stopped there.

I stepped on the ground again. Realizing, all those things that float must not stay there. I need to take all those back to the ground and walking with me, in every breaths.

I continued my journey through a cable car tram from Sounzan to Gora, through a beautiful forest and sloping route. I chose a seat right behind the machinist, watching closely to all instruments that he stringed along the way. Wondering that he could be a machine that acts like human, as if emotion was left behind at the station, as if routine had made the mind dull. A reality, an everyday routine. Doesn’t it happen to all of us?

I took another train from Gora Station, Hakone Tozan Railways brought me back to Odawara. Along the way, I met a group of elementary school children going on tour. They came in pairs, holding hands with each other, ready with their backpack and water bottle. The teachers taught them to hold on to their ticket and sit calmly. Seeing all the glittering eyes around me just reminded how new things could amuse you. When does my last time being like that? Passionate little things, trying to conquer the world without any anxiety.

The trip to Hakone ended with a strong realization of what I want to do next year and maybe another year ahead.

Hey, being 25 doesn’t always take you to a quarter life crisis, like all those sappy things that all magazines wrote. It is just the same year every other time, only it gets brighter ;) Somewhere there is time you’ll discover that this is too beautiful, to just spend all those times feeling bad over something. If something doesn’t work, your beautiful scenario ruined, let’s configure another timeline. Why wasted all the things just to fit in, just to please people you don’t want to. You are too beautiful. Isn’t it finally a time to focus on you, to let yourself shine?

We grow up and we over think all things, we’re afraid of thing we don’t know of. We just desperate to have a safe place to relax, but sometimes, maybe all you have to do is open the window, go to your backyard, see the sunlight, roll, kiss the air, burn the firework, and just dancing, maybe in the rain.

Then it happened, I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love :)

(Taken from my travel journal on October 16th, 2012)

Thousand Miles from Home

No matter how far I travel, I might never fall in love. I might like the scenery, I might like the castle, I might like the public transportation. I might like everything. But love is another different league. If I want to put a word to it, I would be giving ‘amazing’, ‘nice’, ‘incredible’, etc. But I’d never given up the word ‘beautiful’. Because ‘beauty’ is home. Thus, I might never fall in love with another.

It is nice finally hitting my own bed at home. After series of night at plane, overnight buss, friend’s bed, train, etc. Sometimes I’m still feeling lonely, having experienced traveling alone for the first time in my life, thousand miles from home. Backpacking alone doesn’t make me an expert on it. I just experienced a slice of what they called seeing the other part of the world. It sure does opening my eyes to any possibilities ahead, it sure does delightful.

Japan is everybody’s dream, especially for the 90’s kids. I have been dreaming to go to Japan ever since, it always made the top list of my future destinations (along with Mekkah, Nepal, and London). To finally stepping my feet on Japan, was another dream comes true. It felt surreal to open your eyes in someplace you recognize so well in your memory. It is also feel surreal to blink your eyes and hitting ground in unknown city and wandering around until you bleed with happiness :)

One thing I realize, no matter how incredible Japan is and how different it is from my country, I still can’t talk down about Indonesia. It is so easy to say that everything in our country is suck. Strangely, nothing came out. I realized, my country reflected me, no matter how hard I want to deny it. I guess it is another slap in the face to really trying harder then.

The trip and the journey itself is another self contemplation. I’ll write more about Japan next time and how I shed tears at a museum :’)

PS: I should really thank Puty for many inspirations she gave me. I read her blog a lot, about travelling abroad, about going to Japan, and here I am :)

Di antara

Di antara senja dan malam, tercecer banyak kata di penjuru kota.
Seperti menemukan rumah di dalam keremangan malam.
Bersama para pejalan yang kesepian.
Kita tak ubahnya seperti mereka, mencari jalan pergi dan kemudian pulang.
Kehilangan kesempatan dan kehilangan arah.
Menemukan kamu sama seperti menemukan jalan pulang.
Seperti sesuatu yang tak pernah hilang.

Dalam 10 jam perjalanan kereta, momen serasa magis yang tertinggal gelap.

Saya. September Ini.

September sebentar lagi berlalu, 2012 juga sebentar lagi berakhir. Setiap tahunnya, saya percaya bulan Oktober selalu menjadi bulan baik. Karena sugesti itu, mungkin saya jadi berusaha lebih keras dan Tuhan selalu memberikan banyak jalan untuk mencapai si sesuatu yang entah apa itu.

Minggu depan akan menjadi hari terakhir saya bekerja di perusahaan saya yang sekarang. Selama 1 tahun 5 bulan, saya mendapatkan lebih dari apa yang saya harapkan untuk sebuah pekerjaan pertama. Akhir Oktober nanti, saya akan memulai bekerja di tempat baru, masih sebagai Instrument Engineer. Tapi entah dengan berkah ataupun tantangan apa lagi.

Banyak yang saya pertimbangkan sebelum memutuskan pindah, banyak keraguan yang perlu dipecahkan. Tapi anehnya, keraguan itu hanya bertahan beberapa hari (tapi ketakutannya berlangsung berhari-hari :P). Banyak kalimat ‘jika’ dan ‘mungkin’ yang harus saya yakinkan sendiri. Saya tidak meminta banyak pendapat orang lain, saya hanya banyak bertoleransi dengan diri sendiri dan berdoa agar jalan saya dimudahkan dan diberkahi.

Keraguan utama saya remeh, saya ragu karena gaji yang saya terima nanti tidak terlalu besar perubahannya :)) Saya geli sendiri dengarnya, sejak kapan ya saya mulai berubah menilai segalanya lewat uang. Memang banyak yang ingin saya wujudkan tahun depan, mulai dari membiayai adik saya kuliah, mau punya usaha kaos (ha!), ataupun misi-misi pribadi sendiri. Tak bisa dipungkiri, semuanya butuh uang. Tapi kemudian, saya bertoleransi dengan diri sendiri. Saya mencoret pos pos pengeluaran saya setiap bulan, mengurangi sana sini, dan akhirnya saya yakin untuk melupakan masalah gaji. Setahun kerja masih waktu yang sebentar, saya masih remeh-remeh saja, dan saya tidak pintar-pintar amat seperti teman-teman saya yang mendapat lonjakan gaji besar-besaran. Sayapun berhenti membandingkan diri sendiri dengan orang lain, melupakan banyak perkataan orang lain, dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk menandatangani kontraknya.

Walaupun nantinya, saya harus lebih keras lagi bertarung dengan kepadatan ibukota, karena tempat kerja saya yang baru akan lebih jauh dari rumah. Banyak yang menyayangkan kenapa saya mau mau saja digaji segitu dengan beban pergi ke kantor yang lebih berat, tapi saya bukan saya kalau nurut orang :)) Ayah dan Ibu saya awalnya juga tidak rela, dan menyuruh melanjutkan tes di suatu perusahaan BUMN. Tapi mereka tetap orang-orang yang paling mengerti saya, mereka tahu, saya cuma bisa belajar lewat ‘waktu’. Sekutu terkuat yang pernah diciptakan di muka bumi. Berkawan dengan ‘waktu’ bertahun-tahun membuat saya fasih bagaimana menunggu dan bersabar. Dua hal yang sudah cukup saya lupakan setahun belakangan. Memilikinya lagi di sisi saya, seperti mendapat ketenangan yang luar biasa.

Ada waktu-waktu dimana banyak kalimat tidak enak yang dilontarkan teman-teman saya sendiri (entah sengaja atau tidak, entah nyindir atau bukan, tapi kadang ouch juga rasanya), tapi lagi-lagi, saya bukan saya kalau tidak peduli :)) Akhirnya, saya menyadari berkah yang saya punya. Saya tidak pintar, tidak jagoan olahraga, tidak bakat seni atau yang lainnya, tapi saya pendengar yang baik. Saya mendengarkan hati saya dengan baik, dan saya tahu kapan saatnya untuk tidak mendengar. Berkah yang akan selalu saya banggakan sampai kapanpun.

Satu hal lagi yang membuat semangat adalah: saya (dengan tidak mikirnya) memutuskan pergi selama kurang lebih 3 minggu sebelum memulai pekerjaan saya di tempat yang baru. Saya akan mengunjungi berbagai tempat yang sebelumnya cuma pernah saya mimpikan (termasuk naik kapal bajak laut yang saya idamkan dan mencoba naik trayek kereta baru Malioboro Express :D). Saya menarik semua tabungan saya dari rekening, menyusun rencana perjalanan, dan entah bagaimana sudah punya tiket dan visa untuk berangkat minggu depan. Saya bangkrut berat dan baru akan gajian lagi akhir November nanti, haha. Jadi kalau ada yang mau traktir-traktir saya selama bulan November, dengan senang hati akan diterima dan didoakan yang banyak :P

Tapi anehnya dari semua itu, saya benar-benar bisa menertawakan semuanya dan berkata: let’s celebrate life!

Untuk semua pemabuk mimpi di luar sana, selamat malam :)

PS: Saya nggak punya cukup banyak untuk membelikan oleh-oleh, tapi saya ternyata sudah memesan banyak bagasi padahal barang bawaan saya sedikit. Jadi kalau ada yang mau menitip barang, boleh lho nitip lewat akun bistip saya (tip-nya harga temen deh, haha).

To Ground, To You

Ground covers so many mysteries. Ashes, dusts, minerals, you.
Inside there, there is love. Flowing, never stop giving, never wanting back.
There is fear, inside all of us. Eating what’s beneath. Fear of losing, fear of failing, fear of loneliness.
There is one, inside all of us. Sooner I will be feeling the same.
There is time that we have to surrender all things. To the sky, to You.
Ground covers so many miseries. Like you, like love.
This is the time to surrender.
You, will always be loved.

For friends, you also, will always be loved.

Upcoming September

Some healthy suggestions for the upcoming September.

Joss Whedon’s Cabin in The Woods (2011) is surprisingly fun! It beats up thriller genre movie upside down, ripping it into pieces. A fresh, deep, thriller-slash-science-fiction-slash-black-comedy movie you need for the weekend getaway.

If you happen to know the awesome Darren Criss, you probably know A Very Potter Musical. As Zac Efron might say, “At Hogwarts, we’re all in this together”. Sure appealing :))

As cheesy as Jane by Design kicks in, I’m sure disappointed that the show has been canceled for the 2^nd season. It’s kind of surprise since Jane by Design would be a perfect fit for Cosmo Girl reader :P If you happen to want a light comedy series in Devil Wears Prada-esque, this is might be a perfect choice. Gorgeous dress(es) and great indie playlist(s) might also add the excitement (my favorite so far would be Winter Air by Annasay).

Pokemon + Tim Burton = awesomeness. Love, love, love. The credit goes to Vaughn Pinpin.

And you might want to check out B.yond W.rds, a side project by the talented Puty. She writes in beautiful lines and takes amazing B&W pictures. It always amazes me how people could produces such beauty.

Though London 2012 is officially over, there must be some spaces left to see the gorgeous photos from last Olympic events. Here’s one of my favorite from Rhythmic Gymnastics.

Feeling bored? Try Doodle God, addicting~. Sure it is a predictable game, but you won’t get Kahlil Gibran’s quotes or even non sense proverb in other games.

The Adventure Project. I’ve been in love with the organization and the lovely Becky Straw (another girl crush and blog struck :D) for a long time ago. I really do share the same philosophies as the fellow in The Adventure Project. In order to really create a sustainable change and tackle poverty, we have to change the way we give. We have to create jobs. The proverb was right “teach a man how to fish, and you have fed him for a lifetime”. By giving the tools and resources, they can generate income and take care of their own family. I love the campaign and how they engage to their stakeholder.

The Jakarta Globe, one of English daily newspaper focusing in Jakarta region, also started a few actions for good. Count Me In gathers some of non-profit social organizations in greater Jakarta and help them spread the cause. So, there will be no more ‘I want to help but don’t know where to start’ kind of people. They connect you with the most inspiring social organizations and giving you a chance to volunteer on various social events. They also send frequent newsletter about upcoming events and how to participate in it. Some of the organizations are the famous Sahabat Anak (a non-profit organization that provides education and children’s rights advocacy to encourage Jakarta’s street children), Taman Bacaan Pelangi (a social project to establish children’s libraries in remote areas of eastern Indonesia), Yayasan Hidung Merah (an arts and education program to empower Indonesia’s underprivileged youth through the use of circus and other arts), etc.

As another beautiful month passed, what change have you made to yourself?

This August

These will sum up all things happen these days.

My sisters are leaving the town. One goes to Bandung, going to college (I’m kind of proud because I handpicked the faculty myself, as I handpicked her name myself :D). The other one is going overseas, taking a Master degree. This left me, speechless for time to time. Laugh and conversation are getting limited. It is kind of sad.

I did cry and clap my hand at The Dark Knight Rises (2012) end credit. It was dark, has a lot of deep conversation, and it just a kind of movie you would like to discuss over and over again (though speechless is probably the easiest thing you’d do). Not just because the cinematography or Michael Caine’s flawless acting as Alfred, but as a monumental movie that sets such standard for other superhero movie and as a portrait of society nowadays.

I remember the last film that made me cried (for freaking 3 times in a row) was Hugo (2011). Directed by Martin Scorsese, who himself has find a way to capture dreams in celluloid. Hugo is an adaptation of a novel titled The Invention of Hugo Cabret (2007) by Brian Selznick. It is a non sense thing by the way, to exactly hearing the exact words I have been repeating in my head for years. It’s like a mantra for me, I even can’t believe it.

“Everything has a purpose, even machines. Clocks tell the time, trains take you places. They do what they’re meant to do, like Monsieur Labisse. Maybe that’s why broken machines make me so sad, they can’t do what they’re meant to do. Maybe it’s the same with people. If you lose your purpose, it’s like you’re broken.”

“Right after my father died, I would come up here a lot. I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too.”

Friends will be leaving. Chairs will be left empty. I know goodbye is as great as hello but I didn’t think it would be so hard. People are destined to meet, and part, and then it repeats. People are people; they live the journey they’ve made for themselves. I know this would be for better and exciting future you would tell me in our little reunion years later, but it still feels a little sad.

As another grief comes, other good news comes. Having smile always feels amazing, but making one is another different league :)

Untuk Para Penyelamat Hari

Hari Jumat lalu saya terlambat pulang ke rumah sehingga terpaksa mendengarkan adzan Maghrib di jalan. Macet Jakarta memang sudah terduga, tapi saya memang tidak menduga separah itu. Karena lupa pergi ke ATM, saya cuma punya beberapa receh di saku untuk membayar ongkos angkutan umum saya. Sehingga akhirnya saya tidak bisa segera membatalkan puasa saya. Sempat terbersit rasa kesal, entah kepada macet, peluh, atau kepada apa, sayapun juga bingung.

Anehnya sekejap semua sirna karena alasan sederhana: Senyum.

Langit berubah keemasan waktu itu, membungkus isi dunia entah dengan gemerlap apa. Angkutan umum yang saya naiki melaju pelan. Saya duduk di dekat pintu, menyaksikan sebuah rangkaian adegan tentang hidup. Merasa kecil di depan keajaiban yang maha besar.

Di pinggiran jalan, sekelompok orang berbuka puasa, bertiga, berlima, sendirian. Menegak air pertamanya, membeli gorengan pertamanya, menerima rizki yang entah untuk kesekian kalinya di hari itu. Bagai adegan film yang diperlambat, semua orang tersenyum dengan caranya masing-masing. Wajah-wajah cerah yang penuh kebahagiaan, tertumpah di sepanjang jalan. Saya mungkin tidak akan pernah mengenal mereka, atau tahu latar belakang hidup mereka, mungkin saya tidak seberuntung mereka, atau mereka tidak seberuntung saya. Tapi, semudah itu membuat membuat kebahagiaan tersebar. Mensyukuri semua nikmat yang telah diberikan, membuang semua keburukan yang pernah ada. Sesepele itu cinta tersebar.

Saya, tersenyum di sepanjang sisa perjalanan saya :)

Alhamdulillah.